..and then she came home: Maya Linn Edward

3rd, September 2012: The time is 3.45pm on the 2nd of September 2012.  I am busy making an Indian Keema.  Which is basically a minced meat dish that is to be eaten with Chapatis.  Of all the days, why did I choose this day to make this?  Making most Indian dishes is like working in a chemistry lab.  What I decided to do, was more like making a thermo nuclear bomb!.  At least for me.  To most Indians Chapathis are something they make in their sleep. Not for me. 

Just when I thought everything was under control, at around 4.30pm  Ingrid says,

‘Honey, I think I am getting my contractions’

I am going to keep my calm. Hence, between making the chapathis I start keeping a time record of the contractions and gaps.  Normally contractions happen every hour or so and eventually start heppening at more frequent intevals.  In Ingrids case, as the  picture shows, it was not so.  The frequency was much sooner averaging from 5 to 10 minutes.  In my time sheet, I even noted down my cooking. 

The time now is 7.09pm.

’I felt something’  Ingrid says. 

In my head, I am worried that the baby will  be out...and am starting to get a little anxious.  The intervals are increasing...with more intense pain,

‘I think my water broke’, Ingrid says.  This is not doing me any good.  Everything is happening at the same time.  Contractions, ET threaten to come anytime, Chapathis burning....

‘Lets call the midwife’, I say.  And we do.

The midwife said, she would be home by 8.30pm.  And on time she was there. After doing her examining, she calls the hospital and we are now told that we must rush to the hospital.  She calls the cab, and in 10 minutes we are on the way to  St.Lucas Andreas Hospital  in Amsterdam.  The cab driver did drive, just like in the Hollywood movies.  I suppose he was worried that ET might pop in the cab.  

We are in the hospital, and the process is pretty straight forward and well laid out.  The midwife has done all the homework I am guessing.  Just that it was after 9 when we go there, and the doors to the birth centre were locked.   What are they thinking?  That births can be scheduled according to their availability? 

 Hence, I had to leave Ingrid in pain by the sliding  door, run to the security, tell them to open it, and rush back to Ingrid to guide her in. Well, that was not what happened.

I go to the security, who gives us access, I go back to Ingrid, but by the time we are at the door it has slid shut again and will not open.  Well...again I run to the security and I tell him, my partner is in labour and I am not Ushan Bolt!!!  He does not get it. A bit of a plank he was.  With all my skills of decent communication, I manage to get him to keep the door open  I felt like Mr.Bean in one of his TV segments. Through the doors we go, and we are now in the birth centre.  We are given a nice room. More like a hotel suite.  But just to make sure one does not get carried away, they have the emergency oxygen, ventilators on the wall.  No confusion on that front.

The process of labour, apparently was short.  That is according to the general view of how labour usually can end up.  Still, I must say, it was intense.  Absolutely intense!  Not for me, for Ingrid.  In all this at some time before Maya was deleivered, I went through some serious thinking. Firstly, as the man involved in making Maya, a sense of guilt comes over. To watch someone you love go through that pain is rather heart rendering.  And somewhere inside my head,  a voice keeps telling me,

‘Look what you did’

Maybe it is my conscience speaking to me. Still, it does not feel good.

Secondly, as the man, I felt  absolutely useless.  There was nothing I could do.  In all that breathing and pushing I could do nothing. I could not take the pain away, it was not the time for me to dish out my advice on how to handle pain or that I could tell her.

‘Sweetheart, you dont have to go through this. We will do it another time!’

At sharp 12.59.48 a little girl came out.  ET had come to stay.  The name, MAYA LINN EDWARD.

Her first cry, a sign of life was amazing.  The midwife, put her on Ingrid to bond.  Again, I was in a mess. I could not believe that I  was highly emotional.  What happened to the man in me?  I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to get a grip of myself. Still, I was proud of what we had.

A beautiful little girl, weighing 3080 gm , healthy as one can get. 

I love life, I love Ingrid and I’d give my life for Maya!