Gynaecologist and Single Cell Wooden Ameba.

Why do I get the feeling that going to the  Gynecologist is like going for your yearly automobile inspections.   Without a doubt, this lady must be good.  So I think. Or, somewhere deep inside me  the phenomena of ‘auto suggestion’ seems to be working. 

We did manage to fix our  appointment for the 17^th of May .  That is after cancelling the one for the 15^th.  Like I said in  my earlier post, I am sure  Dr.B pissed herself drunk, did some pole dancing and then smoked herself to sleep with artificial spliff!  Woke up in the morning next to  a camel dressed as a Bedouin.  Anyway, its her life.  

We were there on time.  My first question at the reception was a demand for justification on their last cancellation.

‘Excuse my lack of understanding.  But, how did you know that an emergency was coming up 20 hours before?’ I asked.

‘No we had an emergency, so we had to cancel!  She said.

‘Ah, but how did you know it was an emergency 20 hours before?  I snapped back.

‘Yes, emergency, no?' she said, with the look of a corpse!

I give up!!! Am I talking to a single-celled wooden ameba here, I am think.     I managed a picture of one too.   She just does not get  my point! 

‘Never mind’  I say, with an  insincere smile of appreciation. 

'Please wait ok,  we must check your weight and pressure’ she says.

Wait we do!

All checked, and then we are sent to the waiting section of the gynecologist.  How lovely that place is. I can watch TV now.  And they have live cricket on.  What a hospital this is turning out to be.  I am loving it.  Now to get the volume up.  I scan the area, and cannot seem to find the remote.  I ask the nurse.

‘Sorry, we do not have remote’ she says.

There goes my day.  Anyway,  something is better than  nothing. 

The door opens, and the nurse looks at me, and asked, ‘Ingrid?’ Something about the Doctors nurse at Starcare.  She only looks at me and talks.  No! she is not flirting with me.  We both know that.  Even if Ingrid asks a question, the answer is always directed to me. 

‘I need to use the loo before the scan’ Ingrid says.

She looks at me and say, ‘Yes, you can use the loo inside the scan room’

We walk into the doctors rooms.  She really needs to eat something sugary to stop her smacking her lips.  She does not look too wasted though.

‘Hello, how is everything’  she says with a smile.

Everything seems fine’  Ingrid replies.

‘How is the baby?’

‘Seems fine’ Ingrid says.

I reply in my head.  ‘Well, that is why we are here you terd!!!!!, You tell me!’

And now she takes out her famous check list. And then she goes off like a space shuttle.

'How are you feeling?'  Check:Tick

'Any oil leaks?'  Check:Tick

'Sleeping well?'    Check: Tick

'Constipated?'    Check: Tick

'Radiator heating?'   Check: Tick

This goes on.  Conclusion: The engine is fine.

Sleep only on the left side, ok!’  She suddenly say.

‘Ok! But I have to see his face and sleep.’  Ingrid says jokingly pointing at me.

The doctor and the nurse look at her as if she has lost her marbles.  Clearly, they did not seem to get it.

‘Next month, we do anomaly scan. Ok?' The doctor say.

I thought anomaly scans are done only once.  But why not.  More visuals of ET and 3D renditions. Something to look forward to.

All is well now.